About the role
Position Overview:
Do you have a knack for pressing buttons with flair and precision? Are you the person who knows which buttons to push, when to push them, and how hard? Goodwin Recruiting (yes, even this test job can look official!) is seeking a Director of Button Pushing to join our dynamic team. This vital role ensures that all the buttons—both literal and metaphorical—are pushed at the perfect time, with enthusiasm and finesse.
Key Responsibilities:
Push various types of buttons (physical, digital, and metaphorical) with a high degree of accuracy.
Ensure all buttons are pushed in accordance with company policies and the Laws of Buttonology.
Analyze button-pushing workflows and recommend strategies to streamline future button interactions.
Maintain button hygiene by cleaning, polishing, and upgrading buttons as necessary.
Conduct risk assessments before pushing red buttons.
Lead training sessions for junior button pushers, instilling a culture of button excellence.
Innovate new button-pushing techniques to improve efficiency and effectiveness.
Collaborate with cross-functional teams to identify buttons that need immediate pushing.
Qualifications:
Bachelor's degree in Buttonology, Finger Dexterity, or related fields.
Minimum of 5 years of experience in high-pressure button-pushing environments.
Proven ability to push multiple buttons simultaneously under tight deadlines.
Excellent hand-eye coordination and finger strength.
Strong interpersonal skills for navigating sensitive button-pushing situations.
A sense of humor (mandatory).
Perks & Benefits:
Access to state-of-the-art button-pushing equipment.
Generous button-pushing breaks (because we value your fingers).
Button-themed company retreats.
An endless supply of ergonomic button-pushing gloves.
Opportunities for professional growth, including potential promotion to VP of Levers and Knobs.